Whether you've been together for forty years or one it's never a bad idea to strengthen that special bond you share with that one other person. Few things last a lifetime, looks fade, memory gets a little blurry, but one thing you should always hold onto till the days run dry is that special someone. Learning how you can make them feel special and loved is important in nurturing each other. Communication and voicing each other's needs are vital to a healthy relationship. Here are some ways you can strengthen your relationship no matter how long you've been together for.
1. Remember Your Partner
If you've hit a rough patch and you're beginning to feel like your partner isn't there for you any more, or isn't the same person. Remember you two have grown together. Think back on yourself. Reflect on how much you've changed yourself. Don't demonize your partner or hold grudges that boil over years. Learn to let things go if you aren't going to bring them up and face the issue head on! Remember your partner is still the same person you fell in love with. Remember how you've both grown together. Help them remember that you love them and will always be by their side. Stay strong with them through the dark hours and work hard to get through whatever is blocking out the light. Together you two are unstoppable. So don't pull away when your partner need you the most. Remember the good days, and look forward to the even better days.
2. Reignite Passion
If you and your partner have been simply ships passing in the night. Or the desire to make love is no longer there, then to strengthen your relationship, it's important you both understand each other's needs. Being together isn't just a physical thing to be idolized in magazines and TV. But is an emotional thing shared by two people, without it partners grow apart. Understandably so. If your partner desires to reignite passion, be there for them, while also voicing your desires. A good healthy relationship is made up of compromises.
3. Don't Make Your Partner Your Enemy
Maybe things have only gotten harder. Maybe the stress of bills, mortgages, family and work are all piling up. Now is when you two will need each other the most. Don't drift away. Tie your hands around each other like sleeping otters and keep each other happy. The last thing you want to do is make your partner into the enemy. The one at fault for dismantling your life, the person who makes you sad. Communicate your feelings, but don't say words just for the sake of leaving bruises in their wake. Communicate and compromise, adore and love each other. But don't turn each other into enemies. There should be no competition between you two. You both should be working together!
4. Have Each Other's Backs
When the going gets rough, have each other's backs. Be there for them when they come home, and throw soft blankets over them for when they fall asleep on the couch. Sometimes we just go through rough patches in life. When this happens, your partner should be the soft place to land. Be that for them.
5. Go Do Something Crazy Together
Prevent things from getting stale. Prevent predictable nights, stop going to that same dinner or having spaghetti every Tuesday night. Do something spontaneous together. Something you both want to do, but have always been afraid of, bungee jumping or taking a road trip! Do something together that will pull you both closer together. Talk about dreams and then make those things come true no matter how crazy. Just do it together! Make things exciting, go exciting places meet some new friends. Do something new together as a team and see what happens!
6. Focus On a Project
If you feel like separate entities, like worker ants working together to keep the lights on then take on a project together. Maybe you can clear out the garage or paint a room. Maybe your project can be a lawn mowing service or reading a book together. Just take on a project that interests you both, something you can be excited about and work into your everyday lives. Even if it's ten minutes, do something together. Even if it's as small as something like a puzzle. Working together will help you two come together, help you both work on communicating and will open up a line of dialogue that you two might have not ever opened before!
7. Trust Your Partner
If you struggle with anxiety, always worrying about tomorrow or small things. And to boot you worry about your partner, then it's important to learn to trust them. Also let them know that you can be trusted. Trust is a two way street. It's a delicate thing that you don't want to mishandle. And even more you don't want to put your trust in the wrong place. Your partner should be the one person in the entire world that you can trust. Trust is a hard thing to learn. It means risking betrayal. And as scary as that is. Learning to trust is something a relationship can't survive without. It's hard to learn. And may require professional help if you have serious wounds from the past. But it is a hurdle you have to jump over. And you will. But that won't happen if you ignore the problem. Acknowledge it's existence and work on it. Trust is something you must have for a healthy relationship.
8. Talk things out
Rough patches are inevitable, but they don't have to be destroying. If you're experiencing a rough patch in your relationship then talk things out. Talk to each other over coffee, at breakfast, lunch dinner, in bed, whenever you can. Talk, talk about the way you feel and be clear and firm. More importantly, listen. Listen to what they have to say. Listen to what they're struggling with, what's causing them anxiety. Listen to their problems and make sure you both know that you're there for each other. Compromise and negotiate. People who have a healthy relationship are people who know how to talk and listen!
9. Make Time For Each Other
A relationship thrives off interaction, talks, passion even some times arguments are all better than no contact at all. Sometimes you have to carve time out for each other. You have to. Your relationship can't stand without a good foundation and you two making each other an obligation is the strongest foundation you can have.
10. Therapy From The Right People
When talking to your friends over coffee, maybe avoid gushing over the most recent problems you're experiencing. That's not to say, the problems should be a secret, but maybe not advertised to the point that you and your friends are belittling your partner. Or they're offering up poor advice, that will linger in the back of your head no matter how unrealistic it actually is. Be aware not everyone is a therapist. And while you shouldn't make yourself an island, alone and isolated from friends, it's good to be aware of who you're listening to when discussing your relationship. Remember not everyone's a therapist.
At the end of the day, the relationships we share with each other are all we have left. The impact we make on people’s lives are what matters, not materialistic things or how many people we know. Remember to listen, communicate and do what you can to let your partner know that you’re there for them! Being sure to follow these ten things you can do is a good, sure beginning to keeping the relationship you share with that special other person positive and healthy!