Is it actually real?
Chemistry is a killer. Let's face it: the minute your lips lock, the super glue holding you together is cemented into place and you're hooked. This always happens. Your body makes sure you don't miss each other.
According to Psychology today "Each couple that engages in love at first sight believes that their passionate feelings for one another will overcome the steep odds against a whimsical union actually providing a lifetime of personal fulfillment for each partner."
Scientists can now measure the brain chemicals that collide with each other, creating an addictive cocktail that controls you when sexual chemistry is ignited. Addictive? You bet. The areas of the brain that light up when cocaine hits the bloodstream are the exact same areas that light up when the chemicals of love and attraction are released.
Do people get tired of each other? Why does the sizzle fizzle out? Once more, can you avoid the fizzlers right away so you can get on to the happily ever after kind of love? Are there signs that love is true in the first few passionate days? Is there love at first sight?
Here are five signs that your new guy could be the real deal (in spite of the chemistry) and how to know if what you're feeling is really love at first sight and the man on the receiving end is worth your love:
1. He treats restaurant staff kindly.
2. He has a great relationship with his female family members.
How does he treat his mom? Sisters? Ex? When I met my husband (my second, I met him at age 52) he still took his ex-mother-in-law for outings away from her rehab home once a month, even though he had been divorced for years. He treats me with old-fashioned chivalry to this day and it's one of the things I love the best about him.
3. He's busy and fulfilled with a productive hobby or career.
4. He's not your type.
Countless people who fall in love at first sight — the couples that claimed they knew very early on that their one was the one — say the same thing: "We met in the most surprising way. I never expected to be with someone like him. He's not my type at all." When you're attracted to someone outside your "type," pay attention. It might be the real deal.
5. You're still into him two to three months down the line.
Curiosity and fascination are two powerful indicators that this is the real deal, especially when the first rushes of chemistry start to pale. Crushes always melt you in the beginning and then break your heart in the end. In between crush and heartbreak, there are a lot of experiences waiting for you. Love at first sight experiences can rock your world and some are the real deal.
If you're in the midst of that roller coaster ride right now, buckle your seatbelt and hang on, have fun and enjoy how it unfolds.
There really is nothing like a mind-numbing crush. Just check in at that two-to-three-month point and be honest with what's happening. If he's still into you, that's the best sign of all and you might have actually fallen in love at first sight with a man who is it in for the long haul.